Civil Ceremony #29
BEAUTIFUL BLEND
with memorial, parent recognition and water ceremony
PRESENTATION OF THE BRIDE:
Who is it that brings this woman to this man? / I do.
OPENING TO GUESTS:
We, as a community of friends, are gathered here to witness the marriage of (Bride) and (Groom). By our presence here, we all accept responsibility for helping (Groom) and (Bride) and for encouraging them in the new relationship into which they are about to enter. We are called to rejoice with them in their happiness and to help them when they have trouble.
IMPEDIMENT DECLARATION:
(Bride) and (Groom) are about to commit themselves in marriage to each other. If anyone knows of just cause why they may not be lawfully joined in marriage, let them declare it or else forever hold their peace.
REMARKS TO THE COUPLE:
True love is a sacred flame
That burns eternally,
And none can dim its special glow
Or change its destiny.
True love speaks in tender tones
And hears with gentle ear,
True love gives with open heart
And true love conquers fear.
True love makes no harsh demands
It neither rules nor binds,
And true love holds with gentle hands
The hearts that it entwines.
(Bride) and (Groom), today you are performing an act of complete faith, each in the other. This is the heart of the marriage relationship you are initiating today. In a world where faith often falls short of expectation, it is a tribute to you that you desire this depth of commitment and relationship.
(Groom) and (Bride), remember to treat both yourself and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulty or fear assail your relationship – as they threaten all relationships at one time or another – remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part that seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out times when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives – remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. If each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your lives together, your life together will be marked by abundance and delight.
WATER CEREMONY
(Bride) and (Groom), you bring to your marriage union of two very different personalities, different gifts, different likes and dislikes, different interests and abilities.
(Pour in food colouring)
It is unrealistic therefore that your pursuit of unity,
Be misconstrued as seeking uniformity,
Or of one partner ruling over or superseding the other.
Rather, as your marriage relationship grows
You create unique patterns of interaction
that accommodate and appreciate the particulars of each partner
thereby creating something new
by the blending of who you are
as you live out the marriage commitments made this day.
THE PLEDGE:
(Groom), do you come here today, in the presence of these witnesses, with love in your heart and a conscious desire to be united in marriage with (Bride)? Do you promise to share the responsibility for the growth and enrichment of your life together and to give to (Bride) all the loving support she needs to become the person she is destined to be? / I do.
(Bride), do you come here today, in the presence of these witnesses, with love in your heart and a conscious desire to be united in marriage with (Groom)? Do you promise to share the responsibility for the growth and enrichment of your life together and to give to (Groom) all the loving support he needs to become the person he is destined to be? / I do.
REMEMBRANCE:
Today, as we celebrate this special day, (Bride) and (Groom) would like to pause to reflect upon those who have shaped their character, moulded their spirits and touched their hearts. Although death has separated us physically, faith and love have bound us eternally. Though we cannot see them, we sense their presence. Though we cannot touch them, we feel the warmth of their smile, as we begin a new chapter in our lives. Let us not forget the ones that have departed from our world, but not before they graced us with special memories only they could create. May the influence of our loved ones that have touched us deeply, but only stayed briefly in our lives, continue with us as we join our lives together as one.
Excerpt from THE VELVETEEN RABBIT ~ Margery Williams
“What is REAL?” asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?” “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but Really loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.” “Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?” “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
PARENT RECOGNITION:
Will the parents of (Bride) and (Groom) please stand?
Many years ago, though it may feel like only yesterday, two children were born into this world. When you first gazed at them, you marveled at their perfection and you felt truly blessed. In your children you saw infinite potential and you placed great hope in them.
With you they uttered their first words. With you they took their first steps. You rejoiced in their victories; you cried at their sorrows. You guided them, nurtured them, educated them, loved them. You gave them all you had to give, so they would grow up strong and independent, capable of great love, capable of what they are doing here today. Without you, this marriage would not, could not be possible.
Now, today all the love and caring you gave to (Bride) and (Groom), they will give to each other. And it does not end here. For in turn, they will pass it along to their children. In this sense we are immortal as we see firsthand how this sublime torch, this lineage of love, gets passed along from generation to generation. We thank you and honour you.
THE VOWS:
(Bride) and (Groom), you receive each other from your fathers and mothers, who give you into each other’s keeping, by saying now, each to the other, words which will tell of your love.
(Bride), please pass your bouquet to your maid of honor? Will you please face each other and join hands?
(Groom), will you please repeat after me your vows to your bride?
(Bride), with joy and love
I choose you to be my wife,
to be the mother of my children
and the companion of my days.
I promise to share with you
whatever happiness or sadness
that may be part of our lives.
(Bride), it is my intention
to be your best friend,
to respect and support you,
Through all that life can bring.
I accept you unconditionally,
and will love and cherish you
as long as we both shall live.
(Bride), will you please repeat after me your vows to your groom?
(Groom), with joy and love
I choose you to be my husband,
to be the father of my children
and the companion of my days.
I promise to share with you
whatever happiness or sadness
that may be part of our lives.
(Groom), it is my intention
to be your best friend,
to respect and support you,
Through all that life can bring.
I accept you unconditionally,
and will love and cherish you
as long as we both shall live.
I PROMISE
by Dorothy R. Colgan
I promise to give you the best of myself
and to ask of you no more than you can give.
I promise to respect you as your own person
and to realize that your interests, desires and needs
are no less important than my own.
I promise to share with you my time and my attention
and to bring joy, strength and imagination to our relationship.
I promise to keep myself open to you,
to let you see through the window of my world into my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams.
I promise to grow along with you,
to be willing to face changes in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting.
I promise to love you in good times and bad,
with all I have to give and all I feel inside in the only way I know how. Completely and forever.
THE EXCHANGE OF RINGS:
The circle has frequently been used to symbolize eternity. Without flaw, it endlessly flows from any point where it begins. The ring, like a circle is a reminder of the perfection and endurance of (Groom) and (Bride)’s commitment to and love for each other.
May I have the rings please?
(Groom) would you please place the ring on (Bride)’s ring finger and repeat your commitment after me to your bride…
(Bride), this ring I give you,
is a symbol of my love for you.
I pledge to share with you,
my heart, my home, and all of me
to the end of our days.
(Bride), would you please place the ring on (Groom)’s ring finger and repeat your commitment after me to your groom…
(Groom), this ring I give you,
is a symbol of my love for you.
I pledge to share with you,
my heart, my home, and all of me
to the end of our days.
May your wedding rings be a visible sign of the promises that you have made to each other.
WATER CEREMONY CONCLUSION:
As we turn our eyes to the water ceremony vase, please note how the two colours representing (Bride) and (Groom) have moved around each other as though accessing each other, observing each other, discovering each other as they approach and begin to embrace each other.
Then, as the process continues, the two have become one—two colours, two different people, two lives blending into the new unique combination of hues represented by the new marriage union of Mr. And Mrs. _______. Neither colour survives unchanged. Neither colour supersedes the other. Colours blend. The two become one new and different hue, enhanced by the love of each for the other.
PRONOUNCEMENT
For as much as you (Groom) and (Bride) have declared your love and devotion to each other before family and friends and have confirmed the same by the joining of hands and the giving and receiving of rings; now therefore, by virtue of the powers vested in me by the Province of Ontario, it gives me great pleasure to pronounce you as Husband and Wife.
You may kiss your bride.
SIGNING OF THE REGISTER:
PRESENTATION OF THE BRIDE AND GROOM
It gives me great delight to introduce to you for the very first time, the newly married couple, ____________.
RECESSIONAL
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