Love and Marriage Roles
Marriage Roles can be a Challenge
Many of the toughest problems in married life stem from differing opinions of the roles each should fulfill in the relationship. Complicating this further is confusion in our society concerning gender roles themselves as well as in marriage. Not only that, but the infinite number of variables between individuals means that each couple will accommodate to each other differently. Indeed, not only is each individual unique, so is each marriage.
How the Marriage Roles Assessor works
What follows, therefore, is not an attempt to force couples into some preconceived mould but rather a questionnaire designed to expose personal differences related to interconnections. By each person responding to these issues separately, then coming together to compare their answers, they will discover their differing expectations. Once these are realized, they should be discussed in an attempt to figure out how these differences might be worked through. How will each adjust to the expectations or standards of the other?
The more issues that can be resolved before couples enter conjugal relations the better their prospects of success in marriage.
Marriage Works by Balancing Strengths and Weaknesses
Marriages work in many ways, and do it very well. The important thing is that couples find a balance between their strengths and weaknesses so that their they are able to invest their strengths toward each other’s weakness so that they are stronger and happier together than they could ever be apart. Indeed, this is the goal and fulfillment of a happy marriage.
Build a Firm Foundation for Your Marriage with the Marriage Roles Assessor
To this end, therefore, work through and discuss the Love and Marriage Roles assessment tool. May it strengthen your relationship and build a firm foundation for a happy relationship.
MARRIAGE ROLES ASSESSOR
1. What has convinced you that the one you’re dating really loves you?
2. To me, loving my partner means:
3. Recently my prospective mate expressed love to me in the following three ways:
4. Intentionally or unintentionally, I have recently been hurtful to my fiancé(e) in the following three ways:
5. Recently I have expressed love to my prospective mate in the following three ways:
6. Intentionally or unintentional1y, my fiancé(e) has upset me in the following three ways:
7. My fiancé(e) has “bugged” me about the following three things but I have not changed them because:
8. What strengths do you bring to marriage? How will you use them to build your relationship?
9. What do you feel is your prospective mate’s greatest strength(s), and in what ways does he/she express it/them?
10. What do you feel is your prospective mate’s greatest weakness(es) and how does he/she express it/them?
How do you plan to cope with this or help him/her to conquer it/them?
11. How would you rate your parents marriage and why? Very successful/Above average/Average/Below average/Unsuccessful.
What would you do differently than your parents? What would you do the same?
12. What is your parent’s attitude toward your steady and his/her parent’s attitude toward you?
13. How much do you trust your steady? Unlimited/Usually/Feel need to check. Why?
14. Is it difficult to keep conversation going when you’re together? Why?
15. How have you physically expressed affection for your steady? How was it received? Why?
16. Describe in your own words the meaning and intent of your marriage vows.
17. What do you expect sex to contribute to your marriage?
18. When it comes to sexual pleasure my needs are; my future spouse’s needs are:
19. The aspect of sex I would most like to know more about is:
20. The number of children I would like is:
21. In separate columns, list the respective roles of husbands and wives according to Ephesians 5:21-33; I Peter 3:79.
Role of Husband / Role of Both / Role of Wife.
22. Which of the following is money? — a coin, a bus ticket, a paper bill, gold, a skill, a coupon?
(Clue–money is a medium for the exchange of value.)
23. If you were given $1000, what would you put it towards? What personal values would lead to this decision?
24. Describe your method of budgeting.
25. Describe your approach to shopping for food, clothing and larger items.
26. What are your purposes for saving money?
27. Describe your use of credit cards. Do you ever pay interest on your credit card balance? Why?
28. What debts do you have, in what institutions and at what interest rates? How to you plan to manage these?
29. What are your preferred recreations, and will they draw you together or apart?
Can you and will you do them and enjoy them together? (Together = to-get-her)
30. What place do and will various forms of gambling hold in your financial management? Why?
31. What is your plan for car purchase and operation costs?
32. Home costs: mortgage rent, maintenance, your plan to maximize the investment? What are your goals?
33. What type and amount of life insurance will you need?
34. You will need a new will after your marriage, do you plan to make one? Why?
35. What involvement do you plan to have in church life personally, for your children and family?
36. My religious beliefs are:
37. My personal religious commitment is:
38. Some religious questions I would like answered are:
39. My children will receive the following religious education:
40. My responsibi1ity concerning the religious education of my children will be:
41. My spouses responsibility concerning the religious education of my children will be:
42. What responsibility do you feel you have for the spiritual life of your fiancé(e) now/in marriage?