LOVE AND ROLES MARRIAGE COMPATIBILITY
Discussion Starter Questionnaire
Preparing for unity in our relationship.
- For me, loving my future partner means…
- Recall 4 instances of how your future partner demonstrated love toward you during the last month…
- List 4 situations in which you, intentionally, or unintentionally, were hurtful to your future partner in the last month…
- List 2 ways you and your future spouse differ.
- List 2 ways you and your future spouse are alike.
- List 4 things your future partner has bugged you about recently which you could have corrected, but didn’t. Explain why.
- What is the best strength you will bring to your marriage?
- What is your future partner’s best strength?
- How will you use your strong points to grow together?
- What is the greatest weakness you bring to your marriage?
- What do you think is your future partner’s greatest weakness?
- List 4 ways you will help each other grow in love.
- After we are married, I expect the following changes in our relationship.
- Love is usually having to say…
- When you (write a positive comment about your future partner) I feel ( write a positive emotion that you feel).
- When you (write a negative comment about your future partner) I feel (write a negative emotion about yourself).
- I feel most comfortable with my future partner when…
- I feel most uncomfortable with my future partner when…
- What should be the weighting of the husband and wife’s opinions concerning family decisions?
- What priority should your marriage relationship and family have concerning the husband’s / wife’s time? What if this interferes with getting ahead in the world?
- What role should the wife fulfill in your marriage… Primarily a mother and homemaker? What about a career? How will the two of you manage this arrangement?
- What kind of romantic attentions should a husband / wife show to his/ her partner?
- To me, sexual experience in my relationship with my mate means…
- Realizing that men tend to desire or need sex more often than women, how will you communicate and manage this difference?
- What are your feelings about family planning (birth control) are…
- Whose responsibility is it to use birth control devices?
- We will make decisions about family planning by………….taking into consideration what…………
- What should the wife / husband do out of concern for the husband’s / wife’s comfort and happiness?
- What attention should the husband / wife give to personal grooming?
- As a married couple should we do things together?
- Should the husband / wife feel free to go out with the guys / girls? When? How often?
- How will TV viewing and computer usage be managed related to program choices, sports…. ?
- What will each of us contribute to decisions concerning where we will live?
- Should a home be orderly and clean at all times?
- Do you want a home where you can relax and not worry about a little disorder?
- Do you want your home as a place to get away from people?
- Do you want to do a lot of hospitality and entertaining?
- Would you rather entertain outside than inside the home?
- In our marriage should the wife to earn her own personal spending money.
- In our marriage should the husband be the chief breadwinner.
- Should the wife accept gracefully whatever money the husband gives her?
- Should the husband provide the wife with an adequate personal allowance? Who decides what this is and on what basis?
- If both work outside the home, whose responsibility is the housework? If it is shared, how should chores be allocated?
- Should the husband help with household chores even if the wife doesn’t work outside the home? What would be his appropriate involvement?
- While married do you want to go places and do things, or would you prefer to stick close to home?
- List 3 things about your future partner’s parents you really like.
- What place should your parents be permitted in your marriage?
- What place should your mate’s parents be permitted in your marriage?
- Would you object to long and frequent visits from the wife’s parents, the husband’s parents, others…Why?
- Right now my in-laws need to learn…
- How many children would be the ideal number?
- I am not anxious for children.
- I want children right away.
- We should postpone having children for a few years. Reasons?
- What changes do you plan to make from your own parents’ child rearing techniques?
- How do you want to manage differences of opinion about raising and disciplining your children? When you have a difference of opinion how will you keep that from being communicated to the children lest they divide and conquer?
- Is there any place for physical punishment of children? How should this be managed to be sure that you do not, in anger, abuse your children?
- The children should be able to express their opinions. Is expressing their opinions necessarily disrespect?
- Where should alcoholic beverages / drugs fit into our life together? What will we teach our children about this through our actions and instructions?
- I feel most like communicating with my future partner when…
- I feel least like communicating with my future partner when…
- Communication in marriage means to me…
- Four things my future partner does which make it difficult for me to share myself with him / her are…
- Four things my future partner does which make it easy for me to share myself with him / her are…
- One aspect of our relationship I’ve been reluctant to discuss is……………….
- How do I view divorce? Under what circumstances?